I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
