he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
