i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
