would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
