That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
