Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun