How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
