God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize