So drunk its hurt
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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