Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
