I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
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