Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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