I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I supernannyed him into submission
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
