and i looked up. we had an audience...
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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