do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
