I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
