He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
