But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
