I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize