Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
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Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
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This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??