it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn