but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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