I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I just googled if crying burns calories
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
