Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
