So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
