i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
