I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
