Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
