In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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