when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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