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he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
