How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
