They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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