I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Don't make out with my wife yet
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
