I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
