Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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