Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
