Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
