is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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