He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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