yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Are my feet made of real feet?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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