hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
