Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
