you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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