i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
