she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize