im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
