matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
