Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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