I never want to see another naked old woman again.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You had me at "let me see your balls"
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
