girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
