Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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