i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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