eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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