He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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