could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
