they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
