His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
In other news, I just burned my penis
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
