I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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