All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
