you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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