Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
wow bdsm is so cute
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